It took a week, but I did it. I needed grounding and centering, and there is no better place to start than home. With the help of a housekeeper, I worked on the clothes; a lot of items I never wore, that I cannot even remember buying! Half went into bags to give away; the rest went to the laundry baskets. Eleven loads washed so far!

Rebonding with my home, I started thinking how close I got to selling the house but never did. What higher power made me unsatisfied with all the offers that buyers made… I cannot tell.

Next came the bookshelves; fiction/non-fiction and then by alphabetical order. Thousands of books, loyal friends, witnesses ; encyclopedias, novels, poetry books. I miss them when I travel, every one of them. 

Finally, yesterday, we did the kitchen. The spice cabinet, the old herb jars, the pantry I haven’t opened in ages, a descent into hell.  Everything went into the garbage bags. I couldn’t believe how many expired things I had to throw away. I never noticed how clutter fills up, amassing dust, unwanted yet there. But dust can be vacuumed and turned into magic, some other things cannot. Garbage bag after garbage bag filled up, in every way.

I also emptied the pool today. 

Next week, the curtains, the mattresses, the plants, the shadows in forgotten corners, the storage space and my painting workshop. I’ll leave the workshop until the end. That might take a long time to finish, a lot of strength to remove cobwebs spun delicately to keep me out. I didn’t paint since I had my daughter three years ago.

I’m thankful to life for giving me the chance to be me. Fall cleanup invites a lot of laughter in. Laughter is a good cleanser. I love the sound of roaring laughter. Nietzsche said: Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.