I AM GLADIS AUDI Painter, poet, writer and mother among other things...
DAY OFF! 11/17/2014 HOW ABOUT A QUOTE POST! "At the age of six, I wanted to be a cook. At seven, I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since." Salvador Dali ART AND GENIUS Gifts of art and genius are given few among us. A kind of innate talent, which can become productive with practice and may lead to global change. However, I keep asking myself as an experimentalist if genius and art follow any rules? Do they need to be recognized in order to exist? Do my creations need to conform to certain concepts of beauty, form, medium, that the world has gotten used to link with these two definitions. I usually do my best to avoid preconception, and I value the creative process itself. Art is genius. It is a fact. However, I notice that many people need to see a set of rules apply to art creations before they can label works of art as such. Is that a good thing? Does that mean that genius and art are limited and bound by the world in which they take birth? Yes, it kind of does. Based on that, art become like any tactical job, watch mechanics, history... Even then, art and genius creators keep an advantage; that of being the only ones who can tell you how their work came to be. FALL CLEANUP It took a week, but I did it. I needed grounding and centering, and there is no better place to start than at home. With the help of a housekeeper, I worked on the clothes; a lot of items I never wore, that I cannot even remember buying! Half went into bags to give away; the rest went to the laundry baskets. Eleven loads washed so far! Rebonding with my home, I started thinking how close I got to selling the house but never did. What higher power made me unsatisfied with all the offers that buyers made... I cannot tell. Next came the bookshelves; fiction/non-fiction and then by alphabetical order. Thousands of books, loyal friends, witnesses ; encyclopedias, novels, poetry books. I miss them when I travel, every one of them. Finally, yesterday, we did the kitchen. The spice cabinet, the old herb jars, the pantry I haven’t opened in ages, a descent into hell. Everything went into the garbage bags. I couldn't believe how many expired things I had to throw away. I never noticed how clutter fills up, amassing dust, unwanted yet there. But dust can be vacuumed and turned into magic, some other things cannot. Garbage bag after garbage bag filled up, in every way. I also emptied the pool today. Next week, the curtains, the mattresses, the plants, the shadows in forgotten corners, the storage space and my painting workshop. I’ll leave the workshop until the end. That might take a long time to finish, a lot of strength to remove cobwebs spun delicately to keep me out. I didn't paint since I had my daughter three years ago. I’m thankful to life for giving me the chance to be me. Fall cleanup invites a lot of laughter in. Laughter is a good cleanser. I love the sound of roaring laughter. Nietzsche said: Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter. QUOTING A FRIEND Mads Holger is a very special man I know and have worked with. As I sat wondering yesterday about some of the bigger issues on my mind, I remembered a few wise words he said to me back in 2010. "Artists are like Marco Polo," he said, "they go to China and bring home fireworks and calligraphy. Sometimes they stay too long in China. When they return to Italy, they speak only Chinese. People think they are crazy, that they are not good artists. Other artists have never been outside of Italy. They speak Italian fluently; everyone understands what they say. However, they don't bring home the fireworks". A BREW OF MY OWN Flu Day 4 It has gotten so bad! If I were offered a witch’s brew to release me from the grips of this flu, I would swill it down it with a smile, a sigh of relief, and a lot of gratitude. Flu meds were not working. My nose was runny, my eyes watered, I sneezed 60 times a minute, 60 minutes an hour. My throat was on fire. My ears hurt. I decided it was time to make a brew of my own, whatever the consequences! And in the pot went: • 3 apples, quartered • A spoon of cayenne • A spoon of turmeric • A dash of black pepper • 3 cloves • 3 pods of cardamom • A piece of ginger • A lot of water • A teabag Brew Day 2 Believe it or not, I am thanking my lucky stars while enjoying the fabulous taste of my miracle brew! I do sneeze, on occasion. You do not study medicinal herbology for nothing; it does have its benefits every now and then. WHITE BREAD/RYE BREAD? Let us agree that most bread on the market shelves is made with refined flour that the refining process has stripped of its nutrients. Let us also agree that many adulterants used in the bread production business are not declared on labels very often and are very bad for our health. Let us now get to the part where we agree that nutrition from bread is not something we cannot make up for with other substitutes. I have only eaten sourdough rye bread for some time now. I did not give up white bread for the above-mentioned reasons; I gave it up because I had to. Let me tell you, it tastes fabulous with sugar free jams and with cheese, with egg salads, with chicken and cold cuts and even with burgers. What's more is that I have never felt better! The reason why I am thinking about this a lot recently is that I face a dilemma. My daughter loves bread, and so do the many people that visit the house, family, and friends. Should I stop purchasing white bread, and by that force my daughter to have rye and wholegrain just because I feel it is better for her health? SHOULDN’T HUMANITY FEAR THE ONGOING FUKUSHIMA DAIISHI CATASTROPHE MORE THAN THE SYRIAN CONFLICT? 9/16/2013 Yes, if there was a WW3, a third of planet Earth’s living creatures could vanish in just the first three hours but I do believe that the ongoing Fukushima disaster will achieve a death toll just as bad in the next few decades as World War 3 could! The cleanup is expected to take around 40 years and cost tens of billions, without taking into account the irreparable devastating damage caused to nature and to Earth. Fukushima’s radiations are 22 times as high as they were thought to be. Three hundred tonnes of radiated water are flooding into the ocean daily! Previous measurements are incorrect because they were taken with equipment that cannot measure further than 100 millisieverts an hour!!! The radiation is at 2,200 millisieverts an hour and it keeps getting worse… Forget about the radiated Pacific Ocean fish, that’s outdated news. The last distressed attempt to halt the diffusion of the contamination was building an underground ice wall but still the leaks from Fukushima reached a new deadly record at the beginning of this month, 2 years later. The hard cold reality is that the radioactive material will keep building up in the food chain. Our children and our children’s children are going to be eating lethal radiation poisoned rice, irradiated meat, irradiated fruits, and irradiated milk, drinking irradiated water for a long time. US marines are already suing for radiation damages! Remember Chernobyl? Over five million people in the Ukraine, Russia and Belorussia were exposed to the accident and the lethal radiations. The toxic cloud spread as far as London. It is today a dead zone that you enter over 20 years later “at your own risk”. Children of the second generation are still enduring and born today with genetic defects. The initial meltdown at Fukushima is said to have been around 30% of the radiation released by the Chernobyl accident. But Fukushima isn't over; it is unstoppable at the moment. It is uncontrollable. Fukushima’s fallout is 20 to 30 times as high as the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings put together! Billions of people, (children), are going to develop diseases least of them cancer, babies with dreadful birth defects and genetic mutations (missing ears, deformed limbs, eight fingers and toes...) will be born and yet we strive to bring harmony and peace to the restless Middle East by getting the American Navy to support the Qaeda related Nusra Front to massacre the few Christian villages that have been living peacefully in Syria for the last 2014 years. Lethal contamination is spreading and the world is focused on the Syrian conflict which has developed into a full blown raging unforgiving blood bath because of the outside influences. Doesn't it sound like common sense is a little short? Start decontaminating the toxic water! Start cleaning up the mess. Nuclear power is flawed; it is not reliable. Humanity –Earth- cannot afford the costs. http://rt.com/op-edge/chernobyl-fukushima-crisis-catastrophe-715/ http://www.journalismwithoutborders.com/details/article/chernobyl-radiation-horror-for-ukrainian-mum-1.html http://www.journalismwithoutborders.com/typo3temp/pics/5b00a14c47.jpg http://www.earthend-newbeginning.com/tag/nuclear-power-harmfullness I linked to the photos and didn't post them because I know some people prefer "not to see". A WORD TO THE WISE! Because of my own perception of the current situation in the Middle East, allow me to write a brief account of what the Maronite priest Habib Stéphan said in 1918, without getting into the deep esthetics of the matter. If you could see things from my perspective, it would be quite obvious how this short account is relevant. On that day, the priest from Btater-Bhamdoun was on the balcony of the “Grand Serail” for the Faysali Proclamation . The "Grand Serail" is the headquarters of the Prime Minister today; it sits atop a hill in downtown Beirut and served many purposes since the 1800s. Its facade is austere and copies that of the Suleymie Ottoman barracks. Prince Faysal, third son of Hussein Bin Ali, Grand Sharif of Mecca, had entered Damascus and ended the Turkish rule. He set up an Arab government with the help of the British that was meant to rule the Greater Syria, the Arab crescent. The crescent extends from Iraq to Palestine.His proclamation declared that the government of Prince Faysal, son of the Sharif Hussein, was an Arab government founded on justice and equality, in favor of all Arabs enjoying the same rights irrespective of their religions, whether they are Christian, Moslem or Jewish. Not too sure if he also meant women though. In short, it was a recognition of citizenship for all to share. Father Habib, God bless his soul, declares from the top of his balcony in Arabic, to the Turcs (well the Ottomans): “O nation of Turks whose destiny destroyed the throne built on oppression and adversity The East belonged to you and you ruined its values until making their traces disappear I pity the East of which you divided the people, while they are brothers and friends I pity the East, will its greenery still smile while thanks to you it’s promised nothing but aridity and dryness Once upon a time, our vessel transported but raw silk and corals Once upon a time, our wisdom lit the way for men of the West and today in front of the West, we are merely children” The dream of Prince Faysal and of the priest crashed to pieces on the evening of the Battle of Mayssaloun. It was July 24, 1920. But until our day, this dream of claims and aspirations to "Arab Unity" has gotten us in trouble over a billion times. And it's almost getting us to WWIII. Frankly: Enough neo-Arab-Unity aspirations for a unified islamic Middle East (it won't work, don't you get it! we -the minorities- are rooted here!) and enough turkish childish and thoughtless meddling (though stopping now sadly will not turn back time to the day when Syria was still a peaceful and beautiful place!!!!!!). I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BUSY Ever since our new governor assigned me to chair the Hunger Relief Committee in District 351, I have been very busy. Hunger relief is a cause that is close to my heart. Now that I have gathered necessary documentation, prepared my plan of action, procedures and approach, target initiatives and an emergency plan, I can sit back and relax for a few days (though this fight won't wait). I still remember the old days; the war days. We could never put in enough effort into hunger relief. We worked hard. We filled big black garbage bags with different items - those were the only items available for us to fill-. We put some evaporated milk, some rice, some sugar and always flour. We walked to the fire lines and delivered bag after bag to older people, to deprived families, to smiling children whose eyes were filled with sadness and terror. Many of those people didn't have the necessary mobility and absolutely did not have the necessary income to provide a daily meal, a weekly glass of milk. Today, hunger is just as bad. It's an obscene monster. We cannot overcome it with minimal efforts. It is bigger than society itself; but every change that has ever happened for the better in the world, was catalyzed by groups of thoughtful committed people like us, working hand in hand with other small groups of thoughtful and committed people. There is no place for complacency. Two individuals at the heart of my cause: the elderly and the hungry malnourished child. There are poverty pockets in every Qada, however, the disparities in the country have shown three areas to be most afflicted: the Bekaa, the North and the South. At the moment in Lebanon, over 21% of the population is classified as poor while around 8% are classified as extremely poor. That is around 30% of the population that is below the national poverty threshold. I keep close to my heart what Jacques Diouf, Director-General of the FAO said "Hunger is not an issue of charity. It is an issue of justice." NOORI WALKS LIKE A FISH! My daughter started her swimming apprentissage! A few hours later, I couldn't keep up! All the while she kept commenting gleefully and proudly: "Noori walks like a fish!" It was an enchanting moment, observing my child's fascination when she learned to use her little arms and feet to move herself. Some moments we wish could last longer but they do eventually slip into memories. Watching a child live, keenly and fearlessly learn and enjoy rich experiences is one of these exquisite special times in life. SUNDAY MORNING LITTLE JOYS This Dahlia tuber was planted just two months ago, now the plant is about 90 cm high and its blooms are each about 20 cm in diameter. Coffee, pound cake and my little princess asking to wear a white dress! ________________________________________ SNACKS FOR GIRLS' NIGHT IN Girls’ night in at my place isn't as much about food as it is about laughs, good company and catching up. Nevertheless, good snacks are always welcome to nibble on while enjoying the lively gathering. I decided to prepare grilled veggies and pizza with a few modifications to the classic recipe, using ketchup instead of sauce and gruyere instead of mozzarella…. I am grateful I had a dough in the fridge that I had prepared a few days ago. If you take the time to make good dough early on, mouthwatering pizza can be just a matter of minutes, 25 minutes exactly to prepare and bake in this case. This is the dough that I always use: 250 grams unbleached strong flour 1 tsp fast acting Instant yeast 130 ml warm water 1 tsp salt 1 tbsp olive oil Sift the flour into a bowl and mix with the salt and the yeast. Make a well in the center and pour in the olive oil. Add the warm water gradually, stirring vigorously. Knead for 12 to 13 minutes until the dough feels silky and springs back up at the finger test! Now place it in an oiled bowl and turn it around until it is coated all around. Cover with a cloth and keep in a warm place for a few hours. It will double in size. Before you roll it out on a floured surface, knead it again for a couple of minutes. Toppings: Ketchup 4 Green olives pitted and halved 50 gr. fresh button mushrooms, sliced 50 gr. Bulgaria Sheep cheese, crumbled 100 gr. deli thinly sliced ham (I like it fresh from the deli counter and not vacuumed and pre-packed) 200 gr. Gruyere, sliced Bake it at 200 Celsius for 15 minutes then at 160 Celsius for 4 more minutes. A NEW EXPERIENCE, NOVEL WRITING. For the last few months, I have been fixated on writing my new book. It’s a novel; my first novel. At the beginning I was told that the storyline is extremely common. Heartbroken woman settles with new nice guy, soon to find he’s aggressive. She flees with the fruit of their union. Child is eventually taken away from her. But I like it. I just finished the writing process and started proofreading it. Keeping my fingers crossed. WELCOME LITTLE KAYLEE The last hour before my niece arrived was excruciatingly exhilarating. I felt my nerves literally tingling as I waited at the door of the OR with my brother in law and as I expected it to open any second. However, to our total despair, the door remained locked minute after elongated minute. Only did it open after I was absolutely certain I couldn't wait any longer. When my sister delivered her first child Lio three years ago, it was delightful and exciting. He was the first child in the family and I had no idea what to expect; an incredible new experience. I hadn't had my daughter yet. But waiting here today, each second painfully felt like an eternity and I felt like I am elated, walking on a cloud! Then Kaylee was finally brought out of the OR and I just stood there, my face as close to her as her transparent bassinet allowed, endlessly marveling at her rosy pink tininess and at the miracle of birth. It felt surreal yet it was there, my sister just had her second child, a daughter. I fell head over heels in awe seeing Kaylee for the first time; another beautiful soul to love and cherish. So proud of you Zena, infallible lifetime friend, magnificent sister and superb human being! WEEKLY BATCH COOKING I cook in batches earlier every week, mostly in double batches. Any working mother will empathize and recognize the value of this very common practice. Normally, I spend two mornings cooking and enjoy the benefits of healthy scrumptious satisfying homemade meals all week. It saves a lot of time and makes juggling life between single motherhood and work much easier and organized. Since I deeply dislike working on Monday mornings and since I am almost self-employed, I can allow myself the luxury of skipping work for a few hours to escape to the kitchen. It’s grounding, centering and gratifying. Yesterday I was short on time, I prepared a Bolognese sauce out of two kilos of minced meat, divided over three comfort dishes: Spaghetti Bolognese for Monday, Shepherd pie for Thursday and Lasagna for Sunday. Monday's dinner! ________________________________________ There is a great deal of excellent recipes around but I have chosen for you my personal favorites for these three wonderful dishes, Ann Burrell's luscious Bolognese, Gordon Ramsay's hearty Shepherd Pie and Emeril Lagasse's decadent beef Lasagna: • http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/pasta-bolognese-recipe/index.html • http://gordonramsaysrecipes.com/03/shepherd-pie/ • http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/1-2-3-lasagna-recipe/index.html THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS! I have been trying to germinate these Tacca Integrifolia Alba for a few months now. I truly believed that it would take up to nine months of constant misting and daily checking! Finally, two seeds have sprouted seedlings. They should start flowering in two years. For readers unfamiliar with this plant, it is a tropical lurid looking flowering plant quite similar to orchids in respect to their needs. It likes moist soil, it grows outdoor in warm shade (tropical environment) or indoor in moderate bright light. When it flowers, it has white bracts that hover over spectacular nodding flowers and very long white whiskers. At maturity, these plants flower continuously with blooms that resemble giant bats! Hedychium and Cananga (Ylang Ylang) have shyly germinated too and an Asclepias Tuberosa is developing its first true leaves. On a different and definitely less exhilarating note, I am not sure what ate my Goji berry seedlings; over twenty seedlings have had their leaves gone overnight! only eight are left intact. I will be placing them under a net until they grow harder and less fragile and I will definitely be investigating the hideous crime further! THIS WEEK, FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES ON THE MENU As I strolled through the produce aisle at the supermarket with my daughter and as I watched her little eyes glitter with awe at the infinite range of colors and shapes on display, I felt inspired. I have been a low carb diet aficionada for quite a few years now, almost nine, introduced by a fellow pre-diabetic and it has worked fine. But the strive to create fun and interesting meals with extremely low carb counts has made me focus on cheeses, eggs, meats and deli meats and has kept my interest in fruits and veggies restricted. What’s my newest resolution? Although I still won’t go the starchy veggies route, it’s fresh produce week. Salads and herbs mostly. Cherries, pineapple, watermelon. Juices too – I normally avoid juices. Of course, if my daughter wants a serving of pasta or a sandwich I won't deny her! I LOVE MY GARDEN! A little corner of paradise, with hundreds of David Austin roses, Yuccas, Bougainvilleas, vines and other plants... (and veggies, and chicken) My fascination with horticulture has no limit. After starting an organic collection of tomatoes, eggplant, asparagus, strawberries, melons, watermelons, lemon, leeks, peppers, sunflowers, basil, mint, thyme, lemon balm, celery, rosemary, mango, avocado, passaflora, chicory and rocca in my backyard, it was time to move on to cheerful lively plants for the sole purpose of sensual pleasure. I bought seeds and bulbs, some of which such as Dahlias, Arums, Lilies, Kniphofia Ritualis and Canna Indica are already budding, proudly erect in their pots or by the poolside. Begonias, showing stunning colors, have bloomed in the shade of an olive tree, next to my old Yuccas and to the Agave. Nine of my little roses have bloomed too. Some jasmines, the climbing roses and the honeysuckle, grown from cuttings, are twining around my terrace railings. Gardenias are in full bloom. The fern is regal. The tallest Jasmines are climbing over the pergola; Wisteria is growing over the pergola as well, no buds yet. Bougainvilleas have scrawled, climbed, and flowered in many places, a true delight! So I ordered about 30 more seed samples from plant world. Each contained 8 to 120 seeds; Goji berries, Agastache, Tacca, Coleus, Dierama and other gems and beauties to delight the butterflies, the birds and the bees. I am done planting them. Some seeds are still germinating, in tiny little pots: · Hybrid Azaleas · Cananga Odorata (Ylang-Ylang tree) · Clematis Flammula · Aristolochia Elegans (a pretty climber that catches flies) · Silver Dichondra · Embothrium Coccineum · Dragon Fruit cactus · two kinds of Hedychium · Morina · Pink Papavers · Trollius Chinensis · Irises (Magnifica and Chrysographes 'BLACK GOLD') · Loasa Acanthifolia · Cladrastis Kentukea (Gorgeous tree) · Asclepias Tuberosa (species of Milkweed) · Banana Passionfruit (With a special pink flower) · Aquilegia double “Pompoms” · giant white Bird of Paradise Plants and trees I cannot wait to see in bloom? Magnolia, Freesias, Arisaemas, Tacca Integrifolia and Camellia Japonica. What I would love to get next is a cherry tree and a custard apple tree, but sadly there isn't any more room in my garden… Honeysuckle and Jasmine ________________________________________ Lilies 10 days later! Updated! ________________________________________ Goji berry seeds have yet to germinate Jasmine up and over the pergola already ________________________________________ MILK, ADHD AND I. I had not had milk in quite a while. I am just not a milk person. My oldest recollections of lactose intolerance are so vivid that if I didn't fight them hard enough, I would still feel the unpleasantness and waves of nausea at the slight mention of the word milk; and I can still see myself gaze away from the incoherent black board and out the class window, unable to focus on days when I had a glass of milk before rushing to the school bus. Back then, few people knew about lactose intolerance; Even fewer could fathom such a thing as ADHD (Not attention deficit at all actually but selective attention because of an attention overdrive). Unfortunately, my sweet overzealous mother was neither. Milk was the rave, an ideal solution for every health concern affecting a “normal” child. A full glass, the fresher the better! On lucky days, I got cereals to drown the taste and that addition for an ADHD child was enough to cause an unshakeable nausea and multiply my inability to concentrate by at least a hundred times over. Give milk to an ADHD/lactose intolerant child and you get a perfect recipe for disaster, a totally disconcerted, moody and completely distracted little creature. For years, I believed nausea was quite the normal way to feel, not knowing any better. Why am I writing about milk? Because as I searched for a late night snack in my pantry last night, I found a huge colorful box of cereals I had, but never reached for. I succumbed, only wanting to try a little bowl. People are always counting the merits of a bowl of cereals and milk. You can imagine -maybe not- , I had a bad night. My ears whistled an annoying tune, a couple of channels in my head snapped on all together and nausea stuck around for a few hours. My tummy was not happy; a reaction to casein, the primary protein in milk. Casein is also the reason why most protein shakes and bars make me nauseous and unproductive. The bad aftertaste is just a minor inconvenience. On the other hand, cheese doesn't affect me the same way. Cheese casein isn't the same as milk casein. If you have felt this way after absorbing milk, perhaps it's a good idea to go on a milk free diet for a week and observe any changes. THE WONDERFUL CREATIONS OF KHALED HUSSEINI Have you read a Khaled Husseini book? Watched the movies? I have only read A Thousand Splendid Sun, but I have watched The Kite Runner with a friend. Both were poignant and remarkable. The message that his stories convey is inner strength and HOPE when there is no room left but for hope in the tragic lives of his characters, the triumph of love and of the human spirit over evil and abuse. Needless to say, this intricate tapestry of fine characters and heartrending plight, of diaspora, of discrimination and loss, of loyalty and friendship, is captivating. The devastation you witness is authentic. Lives are genuinely conveyed, emotions are so skillfully transferred; dreadfulness, evil and cruelty jump out of the pages to stare you in the face. After the tale telling ends, Mariam and Hassan remain. The most recent novel, And the Mountains Echoed, should be nothing short of another masterpiece. It's a tale through generations about the friendship of two very different women, shaken by the soviet invasion of Afghanistan, self sacrifice, devotion, hopes and growth; I can't wait to get my hands on it. It’s an Amazon Best Book of The Month, May 2013. I will definitely update after I read it! CUMMINGS, A POET FOR MY SOUL'S DELIGHT ee Cummings, a poet for the pleasure of my mind and the delight of my soul. He touches me. He tugs at my heartstring. The man's gift is astounding. If I may say so, poets are a breed of our own. I am excessively finicky when I read poetry because it has the power to affect me deeply. I have likings and then I have preferences. About 20 or so poetry works I keep available at all times, that I cannot be without. I like George Herbert ; Pablo Neruda is just beyond excellent. Al Motanabi. Aragon. Beaudelaire. Victor Hugo. Leon Paul Fargue. Jules Supervielle. Surprisingly, I am crazy about Danielle Steele's poems too (yes, she is an accomplished and wonderful poet.). I read these books continuously. But ee Cummings is my one soft spot. His unconventional poetry is as good as poetry can get, in my opinion. I even look forward to coming home to him after a long day, then his exquisite words start to swirl and twirl and waltz around me. If you still haven't been introduced to his fine verse and his delightful typography, please allow me the pleasure! Here are just a few excerpts... “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)I am never without it (anywhere I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) I fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)I want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you..." "somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence... ...your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you always open petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose..." "Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star..." MY FAVORITE RARE ENGLISH WORDS I have been working on a list. Like the majority of adult ADD people, I like lists. Not because I need them; they rarely simplify my life or make me more competent. I like them because of the sense of structure that accompanies writing them. Because they are a straightforward way to hyper focus when I need to tune out chaos and put myself in an organizational mindset, and which does not entail becoming oblivious to what is happening around me (such as writing poetry or painting). My newest list consists of my personal ten favorite rare English words. It was hard to just include ten. English is packed with magical, resonant, significant words. Since I forced myself to choose my most fascinating ten, this was the outcome along with their meaning: · Selcouth: unusual, marvelous. · Caliginous: misty, dark. · Flamboyant: brilliantly colored. · Inaniloquent: loquacious, talks foolishly · Shenanigan: treacherous and mischievous. · Zabernism: bullying, misusing military authority to abuse. · Cumbrous: cumbersome, difficult to handle because of its size and weight · Besotted: smitten, infatuated. · Vagabondage: idle wandering · Lalochezia: relieving oneself emotionally by uttering indecent words. I hope you enjoy these not quite everyday words. FIRST TIME I MET A HYACINTH... I was a teenager. I remember it was spring. I walked through a lobby and an intoxicating scent overwhelmed me. Yes, the fragrance was that potent. I looked around for a source. I spotted it meters away, standing erect in a floor vase, tucked in a corner. It was buttery white and I was utterly ravished! I fell in love with hyacinths right then and there. However, it took the teenager that I was years before recognizing it at the florist and finding out the name of the delightful flowering perennial. No wonder it is named after a handsome young Greek god was my thought! Now, I do love plants in general, flowering shrubs and climbers in particular; my favorites are climbing roses, camellia trees, peonies and magnolias soulangiana. But I was never truly capable and competent at caring for any. Somehow, all my plants died rather soonish. Until recently! This year, I successfully seeded and planted my own used-to-be sad-and-grey garden! I feed it. I water it. I fuss over it. And I watch it grow and beam. Yesterday, I took my heart by the hand and purchased a pot of Hyacinthus Orientalis, bearing glossy green leaves and proud dense clusters, ready to bloom. After reading all there is to read about transplanting it, caring for it, enjoying it, I am ready; I feel this little gem will stay around for a few years at least. REKINDLING WITH GRIMM I love fairy tales. Unfortunately, the rosy variety we frequently find, the ones that typically begin with “once upon a time” and end with “lived happily ever after”, don’t measure up to my language passion. I bought the Complete Grimm’s Collection a while back and never got around to reading it until now. I didn’t resist snooping inquisitively inside it for a little sample now and then. The stories I recognize are somehow different than the ones depicted in modern versions. Most of the odd tales in this expansive collection, I am unfamiliar with. I am enthralled. Castles and forests remain compellingly unchanged; however, tales are crude, violent and merry, greatly more pleasurable and engaging than Disney’s. The disorder in character and storyline is charming and authentically “folkish” and bizarre. It is clear that the unpretentious but embellished transcription of the tales owes to ages of existing indelibly through oral tradition. The magical stories have universal morals, ornamented with gruesome details. It is what I call a satisfactory experience, like a big bowl of chocolate ice cream, topped with fudge; and an added swirl of salty caramel. I bought this book with the intention of exposing my daughter to original material, richer vocabulary than she encounters in toddler books, and inspiring tales that would enhance her little imagination while teaching her significant lessons. For my pleasure as much as hers, the collection is enchanting. ON TO LED 4/5/2013 Quality of life is greater than life itself!! And you bet, light plays a key role. Enjoying the splendor of fireflies at night, the glory of full moons, brilliant luminous colored lights at home, the genius of led strips and led showerheads; pure bliss. So I have made up my mind. Yes. I am discarding some of my conventional solutions, flickering neon, economy lamps, fatigued vision, IR radiation, ultraviolet, high-frequency electromagnetic, mercury risks, frequent bulbs changes; I am replacing it all with led. This nifty light emitting diodes technology converts electric current straight into light, without filaments, without temperature rise, without electrocution risks. This weekend, I will start with led strips and a led shower head; you know, the one that lights up when you switch on the water from the mere pressure, without batteries or electrical current. Hues change according to the water temperature! I just can't wait. LISTENING TO HALO, MY SPECIAL NOOR SONG! I am listening to Beyonce Knowles singing Halo. When I was pregnant with Noor, my daughter, especially during the last 2 months, I had it playing on my Ipod constantly. It meant a lot. I still think of it as my Noor song. DOES OLD AGE REALLY NEED TO BE SO LONELY? There‘s a fear deep-rooted within each of one of us, in our collective nature, against which nothing immunizes us; the fear of dying. Not just the fear of dying as an accepted fate and a termination of our physical lives, nor the incomprehensibility of much beyond that end, but the fear of being disgraced by our fellows and abandoned by our families because our existence does not result anymore of a necessity. The dread of dying alone. The Shakespearean "To be or not to be". It is the quite reasonable "not to be" which may accompany the approach of death, that causes true terror for most. Or "to be", but as a burden, a repulsive subject. When witnessing old age from a distance, individuals suppress their own unconscious dread of feeling like they ceased to exist while existing still. Gaston Bachelard, a recognized epistemologist said, "Death is primarily an image. It remains an image. It may not be otherwise unless it expresses itself and it can only express itself by metaphors because nobody can speak of it on grounds of experience. " Throughout the world, on a daily basis, we are faced with death. The death of loved ones, the death of foreign martyrs, that of friends, neighbors or colleagues. We interact with the mourners. It is often then we realize that how one dies makes the entire difference, to the dying person and to survivors, left to their sorrow and grief. The dread of any dying person is solitude more than the finality of his journey towards oblivion. How can we subdue our own fear and support such vulnerable individuals before the impending transition that approaches? How can we offer them the tools to tame and overcome fear? Unfortunately, such humane training is not taught in schools. We have not yet found the adequate words to comfort those who find themselves closest to this rendezvous. Will we be able transform our own misgivings and rid ourselves of the myths to finally alleviate those who wait in unpleasant anticipation, unable to dodge it? Such myths interfere concurrently with our acceptance and our ability to show commiseration and humanity. We accept them as truths without dwelling on their roots. Death can be seen as a failure, the patient has not fought strong enough against his illness; a reimbursement of fate to someone who wouldn't stop smoking! Death seems an enemy that always “triumphs”! Such scary notions are often refuted by people who have had "Near Death Experiences" (NDE). To cut short such extensive rantings, I shall just say that many elderly maintain that for their wellbeing and tranquility, it take as little as to be listened to, to be touched, and to obtain of those around them the right to leave in peace! BODY IMAGE, AN IMPAIRED REPRESENTATION? While contemplating my dysfunctional relationship with food, I often realize that I exaggerate. I also realize that my concerning need to find me forever on a gluten free high protein diet has super distorted the perspective that I bear on my body image and food in general. This problem is more entrenched than I thought prima facie. Obviously, I do perceive that my body image is dangerously straying from normal and it is an anguish shared by a majority of women; I am unable to conceive a normal relation with food because I tend to link food itself to weight or body image. And I do acknowledge that the actual shape of a woman's body veers from this aesthetic ideal we are conditioned to see on display everywhere. That we are expected to conform to this unrealistic goal of perfect aesthetics is exhausting. It brings on a lack of image of oneself and a lack of confidence; naturally, the ramifications are sad to say the least. Individuals should be constructed not destroyed and devalued. MUSIC, LIFE'S LITTLE MAGICAL BONUS There is not one normal human being on earth who doesn't appreciate some kind of tempo. True, music might not be required for the survival of our species, but one thing is certain however, music is condensed life energy, so powerful that it resembles freedom; it echoes universal truths we tend to whisper to ourselves. I cannot live in a world stripped of rhythm, cadenzas, and colors! A sonata, a chord; to each of us corresponds a little marvel; one to soothe, enrich our lives, and bring a smile. Music is an amazingly inspirational medium; it can transform our spirits in moments! It is infinite and it unites us. Through music, we escape time, whether it just evokes a starry night, mystical waves or perhaps just the song of a nightingale on a spring morning. That you prefer Beethoven or Wagner! Trance, rap, pop, jazz or the chants of Tibetan Buddhist monks from the Rabten Choeling monastery! Relax and have a musical day today!